


Not Alone

by Thia (Jennaria)



Category: Toy Soldiers (1991)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-10
Updated: 2003-11-10
Packaged: 2017-10-06 09:49:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennaria/pseuds/Thia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first rule of dorm living is, never let your roommate hear you jerking off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this some months ago as relief from the late summer heat, then never got around to posting it. Bad Thia. Assume Billy came to Regis for summer term 1990 -- all that transferring from school to school, he must've had to make up some credits, right?

Billy learned the rules from his first roommate, mostly because the fucker broke them. _Yeah, a guy has his needs. But nobody wants to watch you jerk off. Maybe some chick, but that's out _there_, not _here_. Here, you lock the door or wait until your roommate's asleep. Oh, and learn to be quiet._ Billy's roommate moaned, same sound over and over again, like a rusty door hinge. And he left his magazines all over the room. Billy didn't miss him when he left, half-way through the semester.

That was three schools ago. But the rules didn't change. Billy wasn't the quietest guy around, but he knew how to bite his tongue. Only catch was his current roommate -- Joey Trotta didn't have any magazines (that Billy had found yet), slept light, and didn't snore. Didn't even breathe loud. Maybe that's why Billy messed up the first time.

He hadn't intended -- well, of course not, who the fuck set _out_ to get caught? He'd been at Regis a week, nice summer night, not like he needed an _excuse_ to jerk off, just felt like it. He was pretty sure he hadn't been noisy. Not too noisy, anyway. And he'd been sure Joey was asleep before he slipped his hand into his boxers.

Then, boneless and sticky afterwards, he'd pulled his hand out of his boxers again...and up on the bunk above him, he'd heard something like a stifled gasp. Apparently Joey wasn't asleep.

Billy thought about that for a couple minutes. Could be coincidence. Could be something else. Oh, fuck it -- he'd only been here a week, Joey seemed like a good enough guy, and it wasn't like he'd tried to make a move on Billy or anything. It was probably just that it _was_ a nice night. Not worth worrying about.

He didn't forget about it, that was the weird thing. Over the next month he got to know Joey -- nasty temper, prickly pride, patient insistence on doing things _right_, lopsided grin as he listened to Billy suggest something really out there. Joey was the one who showed him how to sneak up into the bell tower after hours, and told him about the rumors of an old house nearby still connected to the school. Every so often Billy would look over at Joey and think, _I know what you sound like when you come._

_Because of me_. Maybe. He didn't know, not for sure.

So, one night in late July, he kicked off his boxers and stroked himself, biting his tongue so he could hear. Creak of bedsprings. Whisper-soft moan. Movement, sheets rustling. God, Joey was so fucking quiet – _let go, I don't mind. Is it me? What are you thinking of?_ Billy tried to picture it, what Joey was doing up there. Did he bite his lip to keep that quiet, or just lie there, shaking breaths in and out as he touched himself? Did he tease himself at all, the way Billy did, or did he just take himself in hand, business-like? No -- Billy would bet he took his time, when he could. Like this. Slow and steady, imagining someone else's hand instead of his, dark eyes watching him. Maybe a kiss. Oh, God, Joey would taste sweet...

Billy swallowed Joey's name, just barely, and heard his own name harshly whispered from the bunk above.

Knowing didn't help as much as he'd kinda thought it would. He lay there, and stared up at the bottom of the bunk, and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do now. Joey thought of him like that, Joey wanted him -- so what? Didn't mean he could stand up and say, um...well, shit, this wasn't going to get far if he couldn't think of anything to say, even in his own head, just lying here without Joey looking at him the way he would, somewhere back behind his eyes where Billy couldn't reach him. _Not yet_.

He reached up and laid one hand against the bottom of the bunk overhead. _Let me in._ He didn't say it out loud, though. Joey was probably asleep already.

Next week was mid-terms, though, which even in summer meant studying and homework and not having any time to think about his roommate (except for the time when Joey sat right next to him and went over an algebra proof, step by step, and grinned up at him when he finished it for himself). And the week after that, Jesus, something in the air -- it went from fucking hot to pouring rain, and finally wound up with a thunderstorm that cut the lights right in the middle of Mr. Echols' slide-show. The storm left the air thick and soggy as the school toast, but it was worth it for the look on Echols' face.

So Billy wasn't really thinking about Joey that night, when he sprawled out on top of his covers and slid his hand down over his boxers. Way too hot to be under the covers, he was in a good mood, hadn't done this for a while. Then he heard Joey's breath catch, up above him. Oh yeah. There was a reason he hadn't done it for a while, and it wasn't just because of classes and weather.

He let go of himself, and said quietly, "Joey."

Total stillness from the top bunk – Billy couldn't even heard Joey _breathing_. Aw, _shit_, he hadn't meant it as some kind of fucking accusation. He got up and stood by the bed. Joey looked like he had his eyes closed. Fuck that. "Joey," Billy said again, and reached out, touching Joey's arm.

Joey jumped, and his eyes flew open. His arm under Billy's hand was tense, tight. _Fight or flight._ Billy swallowed, searching for words -- if he said the wrong thing, he'd...not piss Joey off, not unless he was a total fucking asshole about this, but he could scare him, hurt him. _Get over yourself, Billy Tepper, he's not some fucking bunny rabbit you're trying to tame._ Except Joey _was_ trembling.

"I, um...don't mind," Billy said. Fuck. That sounded utterly fucking stupid. "I like it." Even stupider. "I like _you_." ...shit. He might as well just give up now. Joey just lay there, watching him, and wasn't saying anything, and Billy wanted to just go back to his bed. Except if he did that, then Joey wouldn't believe him, wouldn't believe that he actually gave a damn, and they'd be back where they were before, only worse.

So Billy took a deep breath and climbed up onto Joey's bed.

Joey moved over some, giving Billy room. This close, he could actually see Joey's face: not all closed up, more puzzled. _Yeah, oops, sorry, your roommate's gone fucking nuts._ Joey's t-shirt and boxers clung to his body in the humidity, proving he _was_ turned on. Still turned on. Not totally scared off, not hiding behind his eyes or anything. Just...waiting, probably for Billy to explain what the hell he thought he was doing.

Words. Right. "If you don't want me, then just say so and I'll go away, okay?" Billy said, fast as he could and not trip over his own tongue. "This didn't happen, whatever. Just --" and Billy had to stop for a second, swallow, take another breath, generally try not to panic, because this was a helluva lot more important and a helluva lot more of a risk than filling the headmaster's office with water balloons -- "I...I thought it...aw, fuck. Do you want me?"

Joey didn't say anything for way too long, just lay there and _looked_ up at Billy until Billy wondered if he should just throw himself off the bed or something, _answer's no, get over it._ Then Joey abruptly said, "Yeah."

It took Billy a second to understand. Even then – "Yeah, which?"

Joey smiled a little bit. "Yeah, I want you." Words flung out like an accusation. Billy wished he could turn the light on and see Joey's face -- it was too dim in here. All he could see was Joey's eyes on him, and feel Joey's body next to him, still way too fucking tense, not relaxed after all.

Wait. _He wants me._ "Good," Billy said, before he could bite his tongue. That was _not_ the kind of thing he wanted to say, at least not out loud. Maybe if he'd actually been able to come up with a plan or something besides just standing up and starting to talk. "I, um..." Words not working. Maybe _doing_ something...he leaned down and kissed Joey.

For a heartbeat, he thought he'd really, _really_ fucked things up after all: Joey went so totally still, _shit_, 'want you' didn't mean the same as 'willing to kiss you' – except then Joey really was trembling, and one hand came up behind his head so Billy couldn't pull back if he wanted to, and Joey kissed him back. Hard. Teeth mashed up against each other, really awkward, and then one of 'em (Billy wasn't sure which) figured out how to tilt his head, or how to back off, or something, and Joey's tongue was in his mouth, and Billy stopped thinking.

Eventually, he remembered he'd come up here for a reason besides kissing Joey, and kissing him some more, and God Joey tasted just as sweet as he'd imagined...um, right. Reason. He was sprawled over Joey, fingers tangled in the incredibly soft hair right at Joey's nape, and Joey was hard against him...and Billy's boxers were seriously riding up. Time to get rid of 'em, right? Except that would mean he'd have to stop kissing Joey. _Just a little more..._

Joey protested when he pulled back finally – wordless, soft moan – and opened his eyes again, watching Billy as Billy stripped off his boxers and tossed them over the side of the bed. Billy felt himself flush. To cover it (if Joey could even see it), he reached for Joey's boxers, too. _C'mon, join the party._

Joey caught his hands before Billy could do more than tug at the waistband, though. Billy swallowed hard, and sat back and watched himself as Joey peeled off boxers and t-shirt, quick and careless. He was breathing fast again, watching Billy with that almost-angry, challenging look again.

Billy swallowed hard. Joey like that...he didn't look like some kind of frightened bunny, that was for fucking sure. More like _Joey_ was the predator, and _Billy_ was the prey. _What do you want?_ He opened his mouth to ask. Then Joey took him by the hand and tugged him into about the same position he was in before. "Like this," Joey said, voice hoarse and startling in the silence around them, half question, half demand.

_Yes_. Oh, man, this was letting him in more than he'd ever thought. This was Joey gasping as Billy reached between them and took his cock in a loose grip; this was Joey's whole face lighting up as Billy whispered his name; this was Joey rolling them over so he crouched over Billy and could explore Billy all over, careful and thorough as if Billy were a science project. If this was what Joey had been imagining, stifled and silent up here for the past two months, then Billy was a fucking lunatic for not grabbing him sooner.

"Billy." Not loud, just a mutter against Billy's neck as Joey slid up to kiss him. They weren't even done with the first time, and already Billy wanted to do it again, wanted to watch Joey's eyes. Knowing what he sounded like wasn't enough. _I want to see you fall apart. I want to know I did that._ Except Joey was moving, and it was Billy who felt like he was going to fall apart – hard, tight thrusts against him, Joey's mouth on his, _oh God yes please Joey--!_

He opened his eyes again (hadn't managed to watch anything -- well, that's why there had to be a next time, right?) and stared up at the ceiling. Joey lay boneless and sticky and warm over him. Between the weather, and the two of them, they were a mess.

Billy turned his head, and kissed Joey's temple. Next time, he'd bring a washcloth or something. Or just not throw his boxers off the bed.

_A guy has his needs._

Yeah. And rules were made to be broken. Billy closed his eyes, and let himself drift to sleep.

-end-


End file.
